Bigger Cloth, Post-ZOOM and Black Moon Lilith

one of those wrinkles in time

 "Moki, you are welcoming us to your world. This new world for me and the rest of us has been your life for as long as I have known you. You are like the big kid on the block who knows how to do this. You're the kid who can proudly show us your secrets for surviving in isolation with those closest to us. Thanks so much for sharing your loving wisdom." - Eileen Jackson's comment From "Learning, Laying new Grooves, Riffing"

A midday sky is muted; the color of our neighbors rigs the same grey-tan. "It might clear." Pete's optimism was muted, but present. The wind stilled, resting somewhere else.

I'm taking a break from the tiny stitches that hold the thin cotton ties for the first new face mask soon-to-come. This one is being made with the remnant of cotton batik that covers two of our windows. The remnant will match the scrap I used to patch Pete's favorite shorts. Stretching things out is a regular activity in our world. We've made do for awhile, moving a few steps from one side to the other. Writing taps a source different than stitching. But, both work with bigger cloth.

"Thinking about larger cloth. Big Cloth as just bigger cloth, and as a bigger picture. Nothing much is going to happen quickly here. Today I am reflecting on big cloth and it's relationship to holding, being held and gift giving which seems to be a way to transfer the sense of those things." - Jude Hill, Spirit Cloth

My love for stitching and sewing began when I was a girl growing up in Kuli'ou'ou Valley. There were sewing schools, and one just 'round the corner on Elelupe Road. Mrs. Koide was a stern and very funny woman who filled her home with girls wanting (or encouraged by their mothers, auntie, grandmother) to sew. In those days, sewing and drafting (learning to make your own patterns) was a thing to do.My best friend and my favorite cousin were doing this. Walking around the neighborhood to the next road ... was a stretch. It took me from home giving me one of those first bigger cloth, bigger pictures.

Our safety pin life style stretches us to the edges of big cloth. We are old radicals, with expectations, hopes and wishes for a changed human culture; one not fed on having more than needed, and one that does not exclude. As Jude Hill put it so eloquently on her blog, "Nothing much is going to happen quickly here."

Jude Hill stitches. Her love, and gift-giving is the sharing of thoughts while she stitches. I find her company, her blog and those who join easy. Without too much effort I arrive at "Spirit Cloth" in a generous state. She won't FB. It grew too large, and larger still now that everyone is 'streaming' and gathering in the virtual conference rooms. She blogs, and likes it just fine.

It's Jude Hill who inspired me to "Write as if there's no tomorrow. Even if there is one." She said, "I'm going to share, as if there's no tomorrow."... AND THEN I am given a new reason to write: "Life goes on."  So, I write affirming ... life does go on!

I 💖to blog. Fiddling with the internet, curious to learn what a blog was, Pete hunted down supplies and craftspeople to build Otis, and I taught myself to turn my love for writing into my first blog. It was 2008. We were recovering from months of isolation, shunning, and knew what it was like to be part of the tribe of the disappeared. We flew from those islands of my birth --of white sandy beaches, knowing our heart break would not be our last break. Blogging and sending off what we were learning? This was our way to pin together community ... a virtual space.

Once upon time on the Prairie Front, a gathering to share safety pins

 FB exploded, ZOOM turned an innocent sound into a way for folks to continue to gather during their months of 'social quarantine', while those like Pete and me cannot gather in most conference rooms, concert halls, classrooms or temples ... because folks who can ... haven't thought and acted to make space accessible to (all) of us.

Aurora Levins Morales published a poem for her Patreon family of supporters yesterday. It's called "Zoomlandia." In the powerful and poignant words, she chants to us this opening stanza:

"When you throw open your doors and go out into the streets, 

when you can once again embrace, and go back to those rooms

we cannot enter, do not forget those of us who live here.

It was not built for us, but this is our homeland..."

There is so much more to Aurora's poem. You could read it too. Click here, and join us post-ZOOM; feed Aurora so she can keep changing the stories that feed us.

Still with me?


Looked at from an astrological vantage point, Black Moon Lilith might give some insight. From stitching to stars, it doesn't seem too far a stretch for me.

"There’s some confusion about what Black Moon Lilith actually is. In the simplest terms, she is the second focal point of the Moon’s orbit. Years ago, astronomers realized that, if a body has a elliptical orbit, then there must be another focal point beyond the body being orbited. If there wasn’t, the orbit would be perfectly round. So Black Moon Lilith represents that dark, hypothetical point. She is the anti-Moon..." - Midara

It takes a lot, and it takes moving from explanation to understanding to find the ikaika, the strength to keep on keeping on. Many tools fill up a makua o'o's backpack, and it helps to know the Universe conspires to have your back. Where Black Moon Lilith is found in your, my, Pete's Natal Chart can give you an explanation ... and then the application is the stitching of meaning. I'm leaving a bit of my Black Moon Lilith 'explanation' (thanks Midara) for some bigger cloth:

 "... You’ll be driven by a desire to carve out a space for yourself in the world that feels safe, authentic, and true. Since you become aware of the danger and cruelty of the world at such an early point in your youth, you will highly value situations in which you are able to be your real, dark, vulnerable-yet-powerful self. Lilith’s story is one of loss and wandering, and so too will you likely feel cast out, rejected, and like your life is a journey to finally find your way home to yourself.

Because Lilith is a process, you’ll find these themes unfolding throughout your life. At certain times you may really embody the wound, and at other times the rage. Sometimes you’ll get to sick and tired of the whole thing that you deny Lilith altogether, and at other times you come out swinging, ready to burn it all to the ground..." "Black Moon Lilith in First House"

This post began with a photograph taken of Pete and me, one birthday years ago. A bit of frivolity, a gift and a message, "When you feel like being someone else." The comment that starts the word-sharing was left by a friend who shared her land and her life with us for many years. Both the photograph and message come from people who have glimpsed what it takes to "carve out a space for yourself in the world that feels safe, authentic, and true."

It takes many, many engagements and losses. Wandering and rejection? Left and right. To finally find my way home to myself Pete and I keep depending upon those safety pins. And share how we use them, here.

What is your bigger cloth like, and how will it look Post-ZOOM?

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