Stick Together: Unfastening, Riting Anger, Continuing to Write

The New Moon in the twins, Gemini, has passed and we make efforts to understand our place in this world. I took a break from blogging here on Fasten Your Safety Pins. I left a post with a clue that would finally shake me loose from myself and hoped the safety pins already fastened might help.

 Finding my mojo was my mission.

Time has passed, the moon pulls on the waters inside us and out -- tide in, tide out -- the sun rises, the sun sets. When the moon is new, we say it is the time of the dark moon; the sun and moon are conjunct and close rising in the sky together. We cannot see her (the moon) but she is no less present.

Actions have been taken during the weeks of May. I digest them as best I can. But some of life is difficult; I 'break out' with red rash on my face. Is this a symptom of The Virus; another virus; an autoimmune system reaction? MCS on over-drive? For weeks now I have wondered.


Then, I remembered this from Susun Weed:

"Skin problems often have an emotional component, too.

The skin divides inside from outside. If we feel trapped in our skins and unable to be touched, we open our skin with eczema. Conversely, if we feel abraded by life, our skin itches and breaks. Which side of this are you on? How could you help your skin feel less dense or less fragile?"

It's totally understandable, folding in astrology and conversations with loyal and side-winding Pete, that an aging Hawaiian-Chinese-Filipino strongly Scorpio woman living in an eighty-square-foot wagon built to be safe-enough from a chemically addictive world would feel abraded.  The skin divides inside from outside. I wrote a story about what happens to a faceless woman. The metaphors and mythic journey rite me. Stories are like that. They are the skin that divides me from the outside.

 "Everything is held together with stories. That is all that is holding us together, stories and compassion."
- Barry Lopez

This post tracks the movements that happen when fastened safety pins are unfastened. When open safety pins are potent: that coiled spring in solid metal with a point on it waits for its next. Anything could happen next. That's where we're at right now. Individually and collectively the safety pins have been unfastened.

In the small world of our wagon life, I did the work of discovering what the hot, red rash was telling me. I reflect on how I lived and practiced the Nine Tools of the Makua o'o; I was riting anger

1. Keep a keen sense of observation … NOTICE, PAY ATTENTION For weeks I paid attention to what I ate (did it make a difference? how?); I noticed when the rash was hot, when it spread; What helped; I noticed what I was thinking, and feeling.
2. Listen … with your whole body … LISTEN RESPECTFULLY I tried to be compassionate with myself, sorting out so much information about The Virus and what was happening with my face; what was related?
3. Do your best in all things … LIVE LIFE WITH A PASSION To live passionately over the long haul requires breaks. I took time away from publicly writing and sharing to focus on doing the everyday; that is PLENTY enough.
   
4. Know that wisdom is found in many places … SOFTEN THE GROUND OF YOUR BEING Softening my characteristic intense hold on life (I can do this alone ... not really) space came to move through the uncertainty.
   
5. Question for clarity when making decisions … ASK I reached out for help. My NAET Practitioner did phone consultation with me to help sort my options. An old friend and sista makua o'o was 'doing ZOOM Jin Shin Jytsu, I joined her, then we (Pete and I) joined her. Then, just the other day I talked with mentor and herbalist Susun Weed.
   
6. Practice patience and endurance … TIMING IS DIVINE The redness and pain of face rashes started in early March. There's a lot going on and the learning curve is steep; I climbed and slid often. Just the other day I was able to call and speak with Susun Weed. She listened and offered me this: "Your liver is very angry ... long simmered anger...You have to FACE it!"
   
7. Engage in good health practices … CARE This is what I try to do. Some practices have been more useful than others, some have been harmful but I wouldn't have known until I tried them. (Raw Food Vegan lifestyle was radical and seemed 'right' but I may have been wrong ... and now we know).
   
8. Feel the heartbeat of the culture … SENSE YOUR PLACE, KNOW YOUR ROOTS Being a Hawaiian woman living away from Hawaii has meant learning how to feel my heartbeat wherever I am. Remaining committed to those roots it's a gift to connect via the internet. My Ancestors are ever-forward thinking. I stand on their shoulders for a longer vision and write my way.
   
9. Believe in Ke Akua, for this higher power makes all life possible … WE ARE NEVER ALONE, ALWAYS LOVED This is what makes it possible. Yes. The mele 'E Kolu Mea Nui" is my favorite reminder of this higher power, and intelligence of aloha. (Listen to 'E Kolu Mea Nui below).
   

In the days and nights between the Gemini New Moon and the upcoming Sagittarius Full Moon (Friday, June 5th) I have:

cracked some metaphoric eggs
to make flan,

walked through a field of dandelion fluff

riting my way in a world turned Turtle.

remembered my roots where

mojo is spelled ALOHA.

then ... called the Dancing Green Woman

who said, those red, hot face splotches?
it's your angry liver ... saying,
"you gotta face it!"

An open, unfastened safety pin has a sharp point on it. I believe my Chinese ancestors are telling me to use that point to move some Qi (like accupuncture). And, in partnership with my Hawaiian kupuna who gave me the o'o (digging stick) both of them are telling me to break those metaphoric and real eggs to express anger on the outside. Give my liver a break.

 Let's stick together! (Mahalo nui e Tita Donnette for the "Let's Stick Together" purse.) 🤟

Manu Meyer says "Aloha is a radical and rigorous disciple." Indeed it is. And for some of us, we gotta get angry (to heal) to get to aloha. And we have to get angry whenever we feel the heat rise; it's not a one-time-only thang. 

Find me riting -- ritualizing my findings -- and writing here or there as this old turtle and the crab make their way. My liver and I have work to do. The work may show up on these blogs, or in my real life invisible to the blogs but  expressive as my liver heals. The Virus has made it impossible to escape expressing anger and suppression long over-due for a lot of people, including me.

The mele, and hymn Ekolu Mea Nui reminds me what is important to my body, mind and spirit. I put it here so I can hear it again and again. I love this version of it sung by Sean Na'auao. 

"I know the world is bruised and bleeding,and though it is important not to ignore its pain, it is also critical to refuse to succumb to its malevolence. Like failure, chaos contains information that can lead to knowledge -- even wisdom. Like art." -Toni Morrison

Yes, I continue. You? I'd love to hear about it.

RELATED POST & LINKS:
"Like myths, symbols are thus ambiguous; they resist certainty"

"ABC's of Anger by Susun Weed 
"There is no time to despair" Terri Windling 

Conversation with Manu Meyer