Four Rules for Life

 “Four Rules For Life: Show up. Pay attention. Tell the truth. Don't be attached to the results.”
― Angeles Arrien

Winter morning is dark. The sound of Pete's breath good company. 

Yesterday, and for a few days now, I've been sewing and hand-stitching a quilt. The quilt is a gift for my son and his growing family. Two things about sewing and quilting that add to the rich reality of an art I have come to love are first, the time it takes to prepare the cloth I use; my sensitivities to fibers, dyes, and any lingering chemicals or fragrances make it hard on my body. Over time I've learned to make friends with time. That's a practice in patience, and, a practice of learning to show up with what is. Like Angeles Arrien's first three rules of 4 Rules for Life: show up, pay attention, tell the truth.

Sometimes, a new length of fabric could take many washings in baking soda, vinegar and hot water before I can be with it. 

Sometimes, the dyes or fragrance might need a soak in milk to neutralize the smells.

Sometimes, air drying in the sun, or freezing temperatures (there's something about the elemental presence of the Sun or the Freezing air) will do it.

That's the thing about making friends with time, it doesn't happen in isolation. Time lives in concert or in conflict with everything else going. It's winter. Drying fabric or your socks isn't going to happen outside. This is the second thing that adds to the reality of stitching art: It's all tied or stitched together with everything else.

"You’ve got to jump off the cliff all the time and build your wings on the way down."

-Ray Bradbury from a speech at Brown University, 1995

The photo Pete took above and the video below show me playing with the process of putting this quilt together. The thing is? Time passed, Pete left to go play in the Good Cheer Food Bank Garden (It was harvest day yesterday. He plucked spinach.) 

We, two ripening elders, live in eighty square feet. To quilt, I need space. We both learn to accommodate each other. But sometimes, one of us needs to leave the house to allow for the art's unfolding. That's the thing about making friends with time. Not long after Pete left for his outdoor adventures, I went here and found Jude Hill's post on Spirit Cloth to give me the tip I needed.

Here's where #4 Rule for Life comes in: 'don't be attached to the outcome.' I spent most of my time yesterday, pulling stitches out. Jude Hill's commentary about quilting -- adding more stitching so both sides of cloth touch -- to give strength and durability were that touch of practical necessity. Making friends with time, opening up to something unexpected.

The two lengths of fabric for the quilt fit the character and quality I can be comfortable with. One side of the blanket is a colorful length of organic cotton purchased from one of my favorite fabric stores in Anacortes. The Bird of Paradise is one of my most favorite flowers. They grew in our Kuli'ou'ou yard, fill me with vibrant color and memories of moments with favorite people. The fabric was washed many times, and hung on sunny days while we lived with our friend Pushkara.

The other side of the quilt is made from two of our pillowcases. They are old, cleaned and dried many times filled the mana of the Two Tutus who love the family in Kane'ohe; many of our hopes, dreams, tears and inspirations are in those pillowcases. This is a creation of love, protection, comfort and affection. Creating it is as wonderful as cooking up and sharing a Crockpot of chicken adobo; or writing a blog post or medicine story. The stitches done with a machine, or by hand allow a calming tunnel of connection. I think it's love that pulls my needle through the well-cared cloth. Just as I sit with my fingers to curate a story. Telling the truth as I know it. 

Pulling threads takes time, especially when I stitch by hand but I love it ... I show up, grateful I can still see to thread the needle and hold the needle. With care, attention and sequential access -- clearing the table top of the laptop, and replacing it with my sewing machine -- I stitch more quickly. The love gets passed along as I loosen the too tightly held beliefs or emotions. The sound and movement of the sewing machine fold me into the crafting, or the art. When it is a needle held in my fingers, it might be good to remember to loosen up to save me from stiffness later.

It's a learning experience, all the while. 

Sonny Kapoor: “In India, we have a saying – everything will be all right in the end. So if it is not all right, it is not yet the end.”- The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

 

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